


we met again

by Vermillion_kaya



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay Panic, Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Power Bottom, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, they're extremely dense, this is gonna be a long one lol sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27417700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vermillion_kaya/pseuds/Vermillion_kaya
Summary: Akaashi and Bokuto accidentally kiss a day before Akaashi moves to another prefecture of Japan. After that, they never hear from one another until they unexpectedly meet again at university a couple of years later.It's not long until suppressed feelings resurface and chaos unfolds.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	1. Prologue

Considering it was only the end of March, it was unusually hot on the day the third years of Fukurodani high-school received their final diploma. The cherry blossoms had already begun to bloom due to this warmth and swayed across the small field of grass behind the school's gymnasium. The faint smell of barbecue wavered in the air, and while the other members of the volleyball team were grilling meat and talking in the sun in front of the building, Akaashi was restlessly looking for a quiet place. It was too hot in the sun, so he secretly moved to the other side, where the wall was blocking it. At least he talked himself into believing that this was the reason he wanted to leave when deep down he knew it was something completely different. Or rather someone.

He slid down the cool facade and landed on the soft grass with his eyes closed, concentrating on the weird lump that had been forming in his throat for some time now, and which he became acutely aware of whenever he was confronted with a tall guy sporting two-toned hair and big owl eyes.

"Akaashi, what are you doing back here all alone?", and there he was, the real reason for Akaashis sneaky disappearance that apparently didn't go unnoticed. Bokuto plunged into the grass next to him, his intense gaze fixed on him intently, causing a shiver to run down Akaashi's spine despite the warm weather.

"It was a little too sunny for me on the other side", Akaashi muttered while pulling his knees up to his chest, perhaps as a protective mechanism: "You should go back, Bokuto-san, it's the graduation party for you third years."

But Bokuto didn't leave, on the contrary: he scooted even closer to him until their arms almost touched: "It's a farewell ceremony for you too, so I want you to be there.", he muttered back unusually calm, his voice so close that Akaashi's ears involuntarily flared up: "Who knows when we will meet again, now that you're moving so far away."

Akaashi thought he could actually hear sadness in the other's voice, but he knew Bokuto's grief over their separation stemmed from another place than his own. To Bokuto, Akaashi was just a friend. He nudged his senior's arm with his own giving him a soft smile, not really used to that kind of demeanor from the usually very lively boy. When he'd first broke the news about moving to another prefecture due to his parents work, Bokuto had jumped straight to planning how and when they could visit each other, but now the enthusiasm was all gone, making Akaashi feel the need the cheer him up: "I'm not terminally ill or something, y' know? We're going to see each other again, probably sooner than you think."

Bokuto's head snapped up from where it was resting on his knees, a deep frown on his face: "Don't joke about being terminally ill! I'm worried about you enough already..."

"Why, think I can't live without you?", Akaashi teased, tilting his head so he could whisper into the other boy's ear: "I think it's the other way around."

Bokuto shoved his face angrily, making Akaashi scoot back laughing: "Since when are you so bold? I'm still your senior today, don't forget that."

"You're the one who helped me come out of my shell, at least when talking to you", Akaashi shrugged, looking up at the clear sky. He'd always been too shy to compliment the other but right now, knowing that a lot of distance would be separating them soon, he didn't mind that much anymore: "So don't worry, I'll be fine on my own."

"That's the reason I am worried in the first place", Bokuto replied looking down, one hand rubbing his neck bashfully: "I'm scared that you'll forget me once you find new friends and whatnot."

If only you knew, Akaashi thought to himself before actually realizing what the other had just said, his heating face quickly turning to face Bokuto: "Huh?"

Bokuto sighed deeply before mumbling: "You heard me. Don't make a man repeat himself, it's fucking embarrassing as is."

Akaashi could do nothing but stare at the unfamiliar picture in front of him. Normally, he was the one who got flustered easily, and so a couple of seconds of him soaking it up passed before words slipped past his lips without permission: "How could I forget the most important person in my life?"

While he was frozen up again, mentally slapping himself for saying shit like that out of the blue, Bokuto slowly let the hand on his neck fall down, now facing him too. Akaashi had seen the other boy with a flushed face before, he loved being praised after all, but right now there was no sign of that big cocky grin usually following. Instead, his mouth was hanging agape.

Akaashi didn't know for how long they sat like that, staring at one another, but he recovered first, mumbling out a small: "Sorry, didn't mean to freak you out."

"Freak me out?", Bokuto huffed out in response, his gaze flitting everywhere but in Akaashis direction as if he was searching for words: "I didn't think you'd feel the same as me."

Akaashi once again had no clue how to answer, his heart pounding so loudly he couldn't concentrate on coming up with anything meaningful. And then, without really knowing who initiated it, his lips were pressed to the other boys, eliciting a surprised gasp from both of them. They sat like that for a couple of seconds, before he could feel Bokuto snaking a warm hand around his neck and starting to move his lips slowly. Something must have come over Akaashi that day because instead of pulling away immediately and apologizing, he melted into the kiss. The other boy tasted like the barbecue-skewers he had eaten before and the alcohol they drank without the coach's knowledge, but Akaashi still couldn't help but think that it felt so right, until Bokuto suddenly froze up and pulled away with widened eyes. The shock on his face threw Akaashi back to reality, and it wasn't a pleasant one: They'd done it, the thing Akaashi had wanted for a long time, but as the other boy scampered to his feet, the lump in his throat came back with full force, almost choking him.

"I'm sorry!", Bokuto blurted out before spinning around on his heels and making a hasty exit, leaving Akaashi to sit alone again. He didn't know how long he stayed in his spot, forcing himself to not cry like an idiot, but Sarukui came looking for him when it started getting dark, telling him that the others were about to head home. When they returned to the front of the gym to say their farewells Bokuto had apparently long left, and Akaashi lied saying they'd already bowed out. And while the others cried a little when bidding their goodbyes, knowing that a lot of them wouldn't return in April, Akaashi didn't allow himself to shed a single tear, because he knew he wouldn't be doing it for his teammates, but his pitiful self. The others didn't need to worry about him just because he was a moron who messed everything up and probably just scared away the person he cherished the most right after finally telling them that they were, in fact, the most important thing in his life.

Coming home that night he checked his phone a lot for messages or calls, but his inbox was empty. And although he'd receive a lot of calls from his new friends he met after moving, the one person he truly wanted to hit him up never did. He himself thought about taking matters into his own hands way more often than he should, but he never actually worked up the courage in the end. Bokuto's reaction was all he needed to know how the other saw him.

After getting a new cellphone and changing numbers, he never bothered to save the other man's number in his contacts again and convinced himself that he didn't really care about it anyway, forcing himself to think that the pain had gone away.

But deep down, he knew it never did.


	2. new beginnings

||Akaashi's POV||

Akaashi sauntered down the modern corridor of the university, ignoring the looks other students were giving him for blocking half the way with his luggage, instead concentrating on finding the counselors office. Although everything was clearly signposted, it took him about another ten minutes and working up an intense sweat before he finally reached the tall glass doors leading to the office. The secretary sitting behind the counter in the entrance room, looked him over from top to bottom over the edge of her small glasses before putting her magazine aside with a sigh and rolling her desk chair to the computer: "how may I help you?", she asked, not even trying to contain her annoyance as Akaashi stepped up to the desk.

"I'm transferring to this university, and I was told to come here to get the key to my dorm.", he answered politely, not trying to make enemies on his first day.

She cocked a brow, turning to her Computer and starting to type something impressively fast: "Aren't you a week late for the start of this semester?"

"I was abroad until recently, my late arrival has been arranged with the dean", he could feel his hands starting to sweat, thinking that he might have messed something up. He still couldn't handle being questioned that intently, especially when the other person was looking like she wasn't taking anything he said seriously: "My name is Akaashi Keiji."

He waited until she finished typing something in and almost flinched when she got up energetically, in spite of her being tremendously shorter than him. Why was he so fussed up? He thought that going to the USA for a year would make him more confident, and although it definitely worked, some things just never seemed to change. He watched as she left the room just to come back a few seconds later, a stack of paper and a red keycard in her hands: "this is the site plan and your schedule. I also brought a bunch of flyers, since you missed the day where clubs set up booths and let you register.", true to a word, she held out a bunch of shiny, professional-looking flyers promoting different clubs and activities: "If you want to join one, you have to get a form from the supervisor."

With that, she went back to reading her magazine, and Akaashi turned around with a frown, not wanting to ask how to get to room 301 she had circled on the map with a red marker. She looked like she'd give him false directions anyways. He grabbed his stuff once again and made his way to the apartment complex that was fortunately easier to find. He got on the elevator to the third floor, ruffling his dark hair as nervousness started to spread inside of him once again. So far, he didn't manage to run into anyone he knew from back in the day, but being back in Tokyo after three years sure made him uneasy, especially when the university he chose was so close to his childhood home. 

He was relieved when he finally stood in front of his dorm, letting his stuff fall to the floor as soon as he entered the apartment. The room wasn't all to big, with a large window leading to the balcony, a door frame from which the door was unhinged, leading to a small built-in kitchen to his left and another closed door to his right, probably leading to the bathroom. Two beds stood on either side of the main living area, and from one of them a blond head just popped up under a blanket as Akaashi scanned the room.

The Man that had been lying in bed until a second ago suddenly hurled out of it seemingly surprised, landing on the floor with a thud: "Ouch, my butt", he groaned while Akaashi scampered over to him, reaching out a hand to help him up. He accepted it and let the other pull him to his feet, still groaning in pain: "Who the hell are you and why'd you barge in like that?", he asked harshly, before hastily feeling the pockets of his pants: "i didn't lose my keycard again, did I?"

"Uh no, at least I hope not", Akaashi chuckled, bowing down: "I'm your new roommate, Akaashi Keiji. Sorry for startling you like that, I should have knocked."

As soon as the word roommate left his mouth, the other mans expression brightened: "Wait, for real?", he said, returning the bow before looking around the mess of clothes and paper all over the room : "Terushima Yuji's the name, you can call me Teru if you want."

With that, he trudged to the bed he hadn't occupied, swiping all of the stuff he dumped there off of the beige duvet: "Excuse the mess, I honestly didn't know I was getting a roommate. The secretary fucking hates me because I keep losing my keycard, no wonder she didn't tell me."

Akaashi let out another small chuckle, thinking about the annoyed woman who had welcomed him earlier: "She seems to have better things to do than her actual job, like reading magazines."

"You already met her?", Terushima looked up from his place on the floor where he was folding his shirts with a serious expression: "So she really is like that to everybody, huh? I kept asking myself how the hell my charme didn't work on her the first time I had to get a new keycard."

Akkashi hoisted his suitcase onto his now free bed in spite of hearing his mothers voice in the back of his head to not put it on the clean sheets: "Is this your first semester?"

"No, I started physics last year.", the other replied coming back from the kitchen with a trashbag: "feels like the worst decision of my life already but what can you do."

"And you've been alone the whole time?", Akaashi quipped up again, sitting down on his bed instead of unpacking, going through the stack of flyers the secretary had handed him: "Sounds pretty boring, not that living with me would be much more entertaining."

"everything is more entertaining than being alone in your room when we're having exams and everybody is actually preparing instead of hanging out.", the other muttered, pulling something that looked like a really old cup of instant noodles from under his bed: "Besides, it'll probably help me to keep stuff a little more tidy. I had to go to the hospital because I ate something bad from the fridge a couple of months back."

Akaashi stopped throwing out the flyers he definitely wasn't interested in to look at the other: "Don't die on me please."

"Sure thing", Terushima replied laughing: "it may not look like it but the fridge's been tidy from that day on, lesson learned ... oh."

He'd pulled out something that looked like a photo from under his bed, swiping off the dust with the palm of his hand before getting up and sticking it into the wall above his bed with a pin needle: "I forgot it fell down there."

Akaashi's eyes widened in surprise when he saw what was displayed in the picture. He could see a much younger Terushima with less piercings in his ears, wearing a yellow jersey that matched his friends, who was holding out a volleyball to the camera: "You play volleyball?"

"Yeah, but this is my old team, I used to go to Johzenji high school", the blonde answered, flopping down on his bed mirroring Akaashis Position: "I'm currently part of the volleyball team on campus... yeah that one!", he nodded when Akaashi held up the bright red flyer: "how 'bout you?"

"i played at Fukurodani before I moved to Chiba with my parents and stopped being interested in volleyball for a while.", thinking back, he felt guilty for missing two years of practice, especially when he remebered the petty reason for it: "But I went abroad to the US last year, and there was a very modern sports park close by my host familys house, so I picked it up again."

"How are the americans?", Teru asked with a smirk: "are they any better than us?"

Akaashi put a hand to his chin, thinking: "Well they're certainly louder, that's pretty intimidating at first, but when you start practising you notice they are all talk pretty much."

"So you're better than that?!", Terushima asked playfully: "What position are you on?"

"It's not necessarily me who's better but the people I'm playing with. I'm a setter, so I observe a lot.", his thoughts involuntarily wandered off to a guy who eerily looked like a horned owl, as ever so often. He clenched his teeth, trying very hard not to frown.

"Dude seriously?", Terushima shot up from his place, looking at him with sparkling eyes: "You've got to come try out for our team, we're in desperate need of a good setter. Our old one just left because...", he suddenly stopped, seemingly contemplating if he should let Akaashi in on whatever he'd just wanted to say, scratching the back of his head: "Well I guess I owe you for making you live in such a mess, so I'll tell you beforehand. He left because our ace is pretty complicated to team up with."

Akaashis eyes narrowed: "Is he a bully or something?"

"No, just ...", Terushima scratched the back of his head again, it seemed to be an unconcious habit for when he was at loss of words: "it's kinda hard to put into words, but intense would describe him best I guess. He loves playing but when things don't work out well, he get's very upset, and the one who has to correct the mistakes he makes when he's in that state is the setter."

He looked down to his feet that were dangling from the mattress and was probably mentally waving goodbye to getting Akaashi into the club. It seemed to not be the first time that a player had turned down his offer because of this, but Akaashi involuntarily laughed at the story, making him look up again with a concerned look on his face: "I know it sounds a little ridiculous when you think about it being a grown man but..."

"I'm not laughing because of that", Akaashi cut him off, making a placative gesture: "It's just that I've played with a guy like that in highschool. He was a total pain in the ass, but I'll be able to handle your teammate now I guess."

"So you'd come for tryouts?", Terushima asked, still not entirely sure if the other knew what he was getting himself into: "Don't say I didnt warn you. Oh and you'd be like the only new member, Volleyball's not that popular on campus. Our trainer could be at fault for that, he could also be described as intense."

"I would have joined the club anyways, don't worry. I'm used to stuff like that, like I said before.", Akaashi mumbled, retreiving his car keys from the pocket of his jean jacket and twirling the keyring around his finger: "I'm going to get the rest of my stuff from the car, be back in a minute... If I can find my way back to the parking lot, that is. "

"I'll help you find your way around", Terushima huffed out while getting up from his bed and grabbing the trashbag: "I wanted to go outside for a bit anyways."

Akaashi smiled, making his way to the door: "Thanks man!"

"Everything for the possible savior of our shipwreck of a volleyball team.", the other retorted, patting his shoulder: "unless you make up your mind, I really wouldn't blame you."

But Akaashi shook his head, he'd already decided no matter what the other told him. He stopped playing volleyball after moving to a new place, even despised it when his parents mentioned the sport at home because of his incident with Bokuto. But with time he realized that he wouldn't let a silly crush take anything away from him, and so he swore to himself that he would only stop playing volleyball if he really didn't want to anymore. 

And as for now, his fingers were itching to hold a volleyball as soon as possible.


	3. unexpected meeting

“Don´t be nervous, man!“, Terushima patted Akaashi´s back reassuringly while they walked up to the modern gym on campus. When his roommate had invited him to try out for the volleyball team, Akaashi hadn’t known that he’d meant the one taking place the next day, but here he was. 

And although he tried to appear as relaxed as ever, he couldn’t help but fiddle around with the band of his loose gym shorts, which the blond had seemingly noticed: “They´re a bit loud and some of them take all of this way too serious, but I really can’t think of a better group of guys to spend time with.“

Akaashi just nodded with an unsure smile, and they continued walking in silence before Teru puffed out his chest with a confident smirk: “And if there’s anything wrong, just know that you can always talk to me! You see, I’m somewhat of an unofficial, better looking-captain.“, he laughed, lightly hoping up the steps that led to the gym's entrance. 

Akaashi was pretty sure this piece of information wasn’t confirmed by the actual captain or anybody else, for that matter, so he just followed quietly. Head met his fair share of guys having the need to show off, and while he himself couldn’t get behind that sort of mentality, those ho did certainly weren’t bad guys.

He almost ran into the other's back, who had suddenly stopped with one hand on the door and a sudden look of seriousness on his face: “But don’t let the actual captain know I said that, okay? I don’t think he’ll be able to handle the truth, and he can be super scary at times, you’ll see.“

Akaashi inwardly laughed at his correct presentiment and pretended to zip his lips, making Terushima's face light up once again: “Well then let’s get this thing started, huh?“

He pushed the door open and signaled Akaashi to go in first. The latter was immediately struck down by the familiar atmosphere: the smell of sweat and cleaning products, combined with the squeaking of shoes and balls hitting the parquet made his initial nervousness fade a bit. The anticipation of being able to play volleyball again stepped in its place instead as he let his eyes wander around the gym freely, soaking up the spirit.

“Everyone gather around“, a deep voice that seemed eerily familiar suddenly shouted, followed by a clap that echoed through the gym. The noise coming from the team slowly subsided, and Akaashi barely managed to put on a neutral expression as the group of men slowly approached him. 

He wouldn’t let anybody in on it, but right now, he felt cornered once again. He had been able to shake off a lot of his shy demeanor in his year abroad, but it was moments like this where he had to make a good first impression that he didn’t know how to act. Because of that, he had often been overly quiet in the past, making people think he was some kind of snob. There was only one person who hadn’t cared about that from the moment they met, but Akaashi had successfully managed to push them away by kissing them and then vanishing.

Why was he even thinking about that now of all times, when approximately ten pairs of eyes were trained on him? Why did it always pop into his mind at the most inconvenient times, after all this time? 

He tried to shake the thoughts off as quickly as they’d found their way inside his mind because he knew that his thinking-face made him look like even more of a douche than his neutral one.

He instead tried to make out whom the voice belonged to, and when he saw the stocky man he figured hard to be the captain approach him, he finally realized where he’d heard it before.

And just like that, an astonished: „Daichi-san?“, followed by an awkward beat of dead silence became the first thing his future teammates heard from him.

All of the other faces, of which none other seemed familiar, turned to face the captain who, to be fair, looked just as stunned. Akaashi remembered Daichi as Karasuno´s Captain from their joint training camps back in high school. „Simplicity and fortitude“ were the words that probably best described him and his playing style, truly the type of guy Akaashi had always looked up to, and luckily nobody to be afraid of. At least as far as he hadn’t confused the other too much with his sudden exclamation. Maybe Daichi didn’t even remember him at all, that would at least explain the look on his face and that the fact that he wasn’t saying anything although more than ten seconds should already have passed and….

„That's a pleasant surprise!“, the worried thoughts that had once again started spinning in his head before the situation could even fully unfold were abruptly cut short by the other mans warm dad laugh: „Akaashi from Fukurodani high school, right?“

Akaashi nodded once, not really knowing what to say as Terushima thankfully filled his silence by popping up right next to him, curious game flitting back and forth between them: „You to already know each other?“

Daichi bowed down to greet Akaashi properly, the other teammates following suit: „We trained together in high school before tournaments, he explained, an easy smirk resting on his face: „It´s nice to know that a talented player like you is still at it!“

Akaashi hastily returned the gesture, blurting out: „Thanks for having me!“

„Told ya I found some good fresh meat“, Terushima chimed in again, seemingly pleased with himself: „You can always rely on your co-captain.“

„Self-announced co-captain“, a tall blond with sports glasses retorted, his annoyed gaze trained on the other: „Who missed about every second practice to go on dates.“

Akaashi couldn’t help but let a faint smile take over his face when he recognized the man, who looked fairly older than when they’d last met, hence why he pegged him as a stranger before. But the comment gave him away pretty quickly.

Terushima gasped exaggeratedly, throwing his sports bowl at the salty guy: „That's not how you talk to me infant of a new teammate. I’m your senior, Tsukki!“

„Please refrain from calling me that“, Tsukishima muttered before turning to Akaashi, who had smiled at their exchange up until then before the intense aura coming from the other made it fade pretty quickly: „I already know Akaashi too, anyways. Didn’t think you’d continue playing volleyball, you seemed pretty fed up with your teammates.“

„You´re one to talk“, Akaashi shot back mockingly without thinking, crossing his arms in front of his chest: „Every time that one shrimp said or did anything you looked like were going to have a stroke. I was pretty sure Karasuno would send you to an early grave.“

One of the other teammates, who he indeed didn’t know this time, whistled through his teeth, while the others started chuckling profusely just to be shot down by the captain's harsh gaze.

Tsukishima just reached out one arm for a handshake, mischievous smile widening: „Finally someone who understands my suffering. Good to see you again, Akaashi-san.“

Akaashi returned the handshake, once again noticing how huge the other guy's hands were: „Whoa, what do you have to eat to grow that tall?“

„The flesh of your annoying teammates“, the giant hissed under his breath, giving the team a cold side-eye: „Speak of annoying, where’s that idiot again, Captain?“

„He already texted me that he just woke up“, Daichi replied, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance: „We´re making a really good first impression here.“

Everybody gave Akaashi an apologetic look except for Tsukishima who just waved his hand dismissively instead: „Akaashi ´s probably used to that from him.“

Akaashi tilted his head, confused at his words. Judging by Tsukishima´s snooty grin, he was apparently supposed to know what the other was on about, but he didn’t get it. 

Tsukishima seemed equally surprised at the fact that his words only met confused stares, eyes wandering over to Terushima: „Didn't you ask him where he used to play?“

Terushima stopped fiddling with the small stud in one of his earlobes to shoot him an irritated look: „Sure did, man. What’s your deal again?“

„I knew you couldn’t count two together“, Tsukishima sighed, putting a hand to his chin thoughtfully: „Maybe you should stop bleaching your hair so much…“

A stiff „Tsukki!“ From both the captain and Akaashi´s roommate made him mumble out the most unapologetic: „sorry…“, Akaashi´d ever heard.

„Uhhh can someone enlighten me, please?“, Akaashi chimed in sheepishly, interested in finding out if there maybe was a third person he already knew.

„Now that I think about it, you should probably just book it while you can.“, Tsukishima chuckled in typical sarcastic fashion despite just having apologized for being rude: „It´s for your own good, trust me.“

The team began to laugh once again, and Daichi looked as if he was about to force Tsukishima to apologize again before he was beaten to it by the loud bang of the entrance door being ripped open energetically and a male voice shouting: 

„Sorry I’m late, I wanted to… oh?“

Akaashi involuntarily held his breath when he recognized the man standing in front of him with the light of the setting sun putting him on perfect display. He didn’t know what he’d done to anger the universe, but the signs it was sending him were more than clear: 

He´d done something terrible, apparently.

Standing there was Kotaro Bokuto, one of the top volleyball players in Japan, his former teammate and the only person Akaashi had always hoped he would never have to see again.

Live.

In color.

Right across him.

Why? 

Now he understood what Tsukishima had meant earlier, and if he had known who he was talking about, oh he would have run. He would have packed his suitcase, taken the next train out of here, and changed universities.

But now it was too late, and on top of that, the only exit was blocked by a tall, broad-shouldered Bokuto who stared at him in utter surprise with his golden, owl like eyes. In contrast to Tsukishima, his looks hadn’t changed much, his facial features looked hardly more mature than before, and he hadn’t grown much either. Only his two-toned hair wasn’t gelled up as strangely as Akaashi was used to, instead hanging loosely over his forehead, slowly shifting in the light wind. 

Akaashi didn’t know if it was like this because he had probably been asleep up until ten minutes ago, but it didn’t look half bad… He blinked violently, thus ending both the staring contest and his stupid train of thought.

Before he could even try to put a meaningful greeting together in his head Bokuto tore his arms in the air, mouth forming a broad smile: „Hey Hey Hey, Akaashi Heeeeey!“, he exclaimed happily before dropping his gym bag on the floor, jumping forward and pulling Akaashu in tight embrace without warning.

He was immediately enveloped by the scent of the other man's earthy cologne and stiffened up for a couple of seconds before lightly patting Bokutos warm back with both hands: „Should have known the others were talking about you when they mentioned a late arriver, Bokuto-san“, he muttered weakly.

A gruff laugh rumbled through Bouts chest, making Akaashis stomach churn in a way it hadn’t in a couple of years:

„The best always comes last!“

„Oh, that’s why the coach hasn’t arrived yet“, Akaashi shot back calmly, regretting it immediately as it elicited another laugh from the other: „Akaashi, you’re killing me and it hasn’t even been two minutes!“

„Well, you’re killing me too“, Akaashi muttered, fighting against the irrational, but very strong urge to nuzzle his face into Bokuto´s shoulder. Only then did he realize what he’d just said, quickly adding: „So please let go of me, I’m really going to suffocate if we keep this up…“

It was more likely that he was going to pass out from overheating, which was not a good look for his first day on the team.

Why was Bokuto so unbothered anyways? It had occurred to Akaashi before that the other didn’t remember the kiss due to the liquor they had previously consumed but pegged it as wishful thinking pretty quickly.

Due to this reaction to their reunion, however, this theory now seemed probable again.

Still kind of stupid, but a stupid glimmer of hope was better than none at all.

„Oh right, sorry!“, Bokuto quickly stepped back: „I was just surprised, what the hell are you doing here all of a sudden?“„I could ask you the same question“, Akaashi huffed, watching him pick up his bag: „Thought you wanted to become a professional player?“

„They don’t take guys who throw tantrums in the middle of games…“, Akaashi had kind of forgotten the other teammates were right beside them until Tsukishima chimed in again. The realization made him want to ram his head into the nearest wall to get himself back on track, but how the hell would that look. 

Instead, he tilted his head, looking at Bokuto quizzically: „you still do that?“

Bokuto took his time answering, avoiding his gaze with puffed out cheeks: „no I don’t…“

„Ohhhh I get it!“

Everybody turned to Terushima, who looked like he’d just solved some kind of mystery: „You both played on the same team in High school, how could I not have noticed?“

„I could tell you how“, Tsukishima sneered, trying to not so subtly annoy him again: „But it seems the coach has arrived.“

Everybody followed Tsukishima´s gaze to look at a middle-aged man with short, dark grey hair standing in the door with his arms crossed and a strict look in his eyes: „Why are you standing around instead of warming up, you wet rags?“, his scratchy voice, which probably came from smoking cigarettes, echoed through the hall: „five laps, immediately.“

And so the chaotic welcome-ceremony was over even quicker than it unfolded. While they were running laps, Terushima explained to him that the coach had only asked him what his name was after about two weeks of being on the team, when he hit a perfect serve in a practice match against another university that grabbed everyone's attention.

The coach apparently loved his job, but only the best seemed to be deserving of his full attention, the others had to watch and learn on their own: „His name´s Ichigo-sensei. He’s kicked Bokuto off the team like five times already, but that guy comes back after a couple of days every damn time.“

Akaashi had shaken his head at Teru´s words, trying to fight back a stupid grin. That definitely sounded like Bokuto. 

He tried not to stare at said idiot the whole durance of practice, teaming up with a very enthusiastic Terushima for partner- exercises although he could feel Bokuto´s violent stares burning holes into the back of his shirt every time the coach announced a new set. 

Still, he couldn’t get himself to talk to the other, trying to convince himself that it was because of his past feelings, not his present ones.

Because right now, he was definitely over Bokuto.

„Alright, listen up you wimps!“, Ichigo-sensei clapped his hands twice, making them gather around quickly: „Today's practice was not too bad, so you get to play a set.“

A few small cheers could be heard, except for Tsukishima who sighed right behind Akaashi. 

The coach seemed to notice, looking at him directly: „Tsukishima, you’re going to run some more laps while the others play if you don’t want to, how about that?“

„Sorry sensei“, Tsukishima apologized immediately, going as far as bowing slightly which only managed to make Akaashi all the more envois to get on the court.

If Tsukishima wasn’t being a smartass, then that meant this man was some serious business. And although being kicked off the team meant he could avoid Bokuto better, he remembered that he had won to himself that this guy would not influence his life choice at any point.

And so he stayed calm, even though it as increasingly more difficult to keep that promise in mind when Bokuto was standing not even a meter away from him, practically breathing down his neck.

„….and newbie“, Akaashi´s head snapped up. He was so lost in thought that he hadn't even noticed they'd already been split into two teams by Ichigo: „Terushima told me you’re a setter, ´that right?“

„Yes sir.“, Akaashi answered firmly, making Ichigo smirk:

„Good, you’re on the aces team then, show me what you got.“

When everybody immediately hit him with a look that screamed „sorry dude“, he remembered Terushima´s words from the night before. The rebellious ace whom the last setter hadn't gotten along with as Bokuto, who seemingly didn’t notice everybody's faces, instead waving at him with a joyous expression: „Bokuto and Akaashi reunited, hey hey heeeey look at that!“

„Yeah, looks like I have my work cut out for me“, Akaashi huffed out in response, jogging over to the net. He really couldn’t believe that Bokuto still played the same way he did in high school, always in his feelings. But since everyone else told him about it the second Bokuto was mentioned in any conversation, he’d be keeping an eye out on him, just in case. 

He wouldn’t let the coach write him off right away just because that dumbass, who was setting up at the outer line to hit the first serve, couldn’t keep it together.

Akaashi watched him spin the ball in his big hands before he threw it in the air and taking a run-up to jump-serve. 

Akaashi was immediately back in the stands where he´d seen Bokuto play for the first time. He could never get tired of the ease with which he played as if he was born to stand on the court. 

The ball hit just in front of the opposing team's outline, so something had changed: he had become even better, even more precise, making Akaashi´s finger tingle in anticipation of being able to set for such perfect serves.

It took a few more serves before the short Libero with dark brown hair could stop the ball, looking as if he was about to fall backward as the ball hit his forearms. The force of it immediately made it fly back to their side of the court, and before Akaashi could blink, the ball was already on its way to him in a perfect angle to set in any direction he desired.

He could hear Bokuto taking a run-up and calling out for him, but something inside of Akaashi resisted to set for the wing spiker. And so, without much thinking, he dumped the ball over the net loosely as Bokuto jumped up with all his might in anticipation of actually getting to hit the ball. 

Akaashi could hear the others falling in an attempt to catch the ball, but they were too late. He would never admit it out loud, but there was something really satisfying in looking down at the opposing team lying on the floor after failing to keep the game going. 

But right now, he couldn’t really find joy in it like he normally did, because he knew that he only did it for the sake of not playing together with Bokuto, who gave him a firm slap on the shoulder: „Nice one, Akaashi. But toss to me next time!“

„Sorry for using you as a distraction“, he muttered, scratching the back of his head. There was no way for anyone to know what had gone through his head while dumping the ball, but he still felt embarrassment wash over him when reflecting on his childish actions.

This time, the opposing Libero was able to withstand the serve, and the match went on without Akaashi having to think about Bokuto too much, instead serving to a tall middle blocker, a very tall man who was always faster in reach than everybody else. But after a while, it became very repetitive, and he could see Tsukishima setting ups to block the next one out of the corner of his eye. 

He had to choose something else and his eyes instinctively wandered over to Bokuto, his dumb complexes all but forgotten. The latter returned his gaze with a discreet nod, and Akaashi remembered another reason he loved to play with Bokuto: when he wasn't acting like a dumbass, he was a very reliable player who could sense changes in his teammate's behavior.

And so, the next toss flying in his direction went straight to Bokuto. Everything seemed to unfold in slow motion for Akaashi, but thankfully, he hit a perfect vertical. Bokuto raised both arms and offered them to Akaashi for a high five. 

The latter couldn't help but smile when he returned the gesture: "Very good.“

"Of course, I'm the ace after all", the other replied exuberantly pointing at his chest: "I'll do the next one too, toss to me only!“

Akaashi looked after him as he lightly skipped back to his position, shaking his head. This moron was far too easy to get excited: "Just keep concentrating," he shouted back before training his eyes back on the ball. The next opportunity was not long in coming, and again he set it exactly where Bokuto wanted him to.   
This time the spiker played a straight shot, but he seemed to be overestimating his strength, his hand hitting the ball very loudly: "Shit," he hissed as the ball shot well over the outline.

"Bokuto, this isn't a competition who can hit it the furthest", the coach barked from the bench, arms crossed. He'd been quiet the durance of the whole game up until now, and the fact that his first negative comment was directed at Bokuto didn't seem to sit well with said player at all.

He frowned in irritation as he returned to his position, shooting Akaashi another glare which said if I don't hit that next one perfectly I might as well die. That's how extreme he could be, and Akaashi knew better than to ignore it.

Turns out giving in to Bokuto would cause more harm than good this time because his next spike went right into the net. Akaashi asked himself how the hell one could even hit the net from the position the spiker was in, but it was too late to regret his decision to set for him. The Ball bounced off the net right back into Bokuto's face making him fall on his back with a weird grunt. Akaashi heard Tsukishima snort on the other side, while his own team gathered around the man on the ground. He joined them and reached out a hand to the man on the ground: "Are you okay, man?“

It took a few seconds before Bokuto slowly took his arms off his face, his eyes still watering. He ignored the hand that was held out to him and slowly stood up, his gaze turned longingly to the other side of the net. It was quiet for a few seconds, with everyone staring at him until he suddenly raised his right arm imitating several serves without a ball: 

"Line shots," he murmured, his dissatisfied gaze wandering to Akaashi: „How do you do them, I can't' remember all of a sudden?“

Immediately, everyone stiffened up and realized that they were facing Emo Bokuto.

„Listen here you jackass," Terushima spoke up, visibly irritated before being interrupted by Akaashi putting a hand on his tensed shoulder:

"Well then, I won't play with you until you turn your brain back on. Leave the flank open for someone else if you can't do it.“

"Huh?", Bokuto grunted while everyone else collectively held their breath and stared holes in Akaashi's back as he jogged back to his position. 

Despite the seemingly unfamiliar decision, no one asked any more questions though, and the game continued without the ace, now a lot quieter. Akaashi managed to ignore the other man looking at him like a kicked puppy and concentrated on communicating more with the others. 

For some time, this strategy went well, but when they were about to score their final point, he could feel the tension growing. Everybody was tired from training and got sloppy with the strategies he came up with, and it became more and more difficult for him to steer the ball in a way that would confuse the other team. 

Especially when cool-headed players like Daichi and Tsukishima were waiting for them to slip up on the other side of the net. 

They needed the opposite of tactics now: strength, someone who could easily break through the other team's defenses. 

Bokuto.

Akaashi gave him a quick glance when the ball was on the other side of the net, and he looked like a pet that knew it was about to be fed as soon as he noticed it. The ball was received by Terushima, and everything seemed to stand still as Bokuto ran off.

"To Bokuto," Tsukishima shouted in an unfamiliar fired up manner, and Akaashi could feel a wall building up in front of the net, but Bokuto wasn't intimidated. Akaashi passed him the ball as best he could and he couldn't help but hope the wing spiker would score this time. 

And indeed: His hit was strong, and although three tall blockers were supposed to obstruct his way, the ball was forcefully slammed through between their fingers, hitting the ground just inside the sidelines with a loud bang. 

For a brief moment, everything was quiet again, even the coach looked surprised. Bokuto's eyes followed the ball as if he couldn't believe he did it before turning to Akaashi. The huge smile that spread across his face caused his chest to contract uncomfortably tight, the feeling only intensified when the man with the two-tone hair bowed almost to the ground and firmly shouted: "Thank you for this opportunity!

Terushima cut Akaashi's answer with a yelp, jumping up on the ace with his tongue sticking out, " we won! Suck on that, Glasses!“

Tsukishima rolled his eyes on the other side of the net and mumbled an exhausted: "whatever, you airheads.“, making his way to retrieve a water bottle from the bench.

Everyone on their team raised his arms to give Akaashi high fives, which he quickly reciprocated before they quickly gathered around the coach, whose gaze again seemed bored as he patterned Akaashi from top to bottom: "what's your name?“

He could feel Terushima looking at him with envy and remembering that the coach actually didn't want to know anything about him for three months. The fact that he made it in just one day made him kind of proud, even if it was partly due to Bokuto's unsteady mood: "I am Akaashi Keiji," he said with a slight bow.

"Ichigo-sensei," the man replied, and with a glance at Bokuto, he added: "I hope you'll take part in further training sessions as well.“

"O... Of course", Akaashi blurted out, accidentally bowing again, causing heat to pool in his cheeks.  
The others giggled a little, considering his clumsy nature before Ichigo interrupted them: "Okay that's it for today, take down the nets and get out of here!“

Akaashi was mopping the floor when someone appeared beside him. Bokuto had a mop in his hand as well and was walking beside him, always imitating his movements, and Akaashi knew he couldn't avoid him now.

"I think the coach's just pretending to be mean," Bokuto piped up first, an unsure smile on his face.

"You can tell yourself that, but if I had to train you I would become bitter too," he muttered back with a mean snigger.

"Hey, didn't you see that my technique has totally improved," Bokuto waved his broom around instead of scaling the ground, which should probably underline his statement.

"Yes, before you got all mopey..."

Bokuto's face frowned deeply, and he passed Akaashi to run backwards in front of him and stare directly at him: "That doesn't happen to me that often anymore, I've changed.“

Akaashi shook his head: "Except for your looks, I haven't noticed much change, you're still filled with chaotic energy to the brim.“

They had arrived at the edge of the hall, and Bokuto put his mop back in the bucket to ruffle his head: „like my new hair?", he asked with a wink that could kill: „I couldn't be bothered with spiking it up anymore.“

Akaashi couldn't help but appreciate the way in which the strands fell back onto his smirking face, his muscular arms still held up, but he quickly forced those thoughts out of his head, muttering: „still looks ridiculous so yeah, suits you, I guess.", adding a nonchalant shrug to play off his inward excitement. 

The warm laugh elicited from the other that followed wasn't helping his efforts at all: „Akaashi you prick! I missed your harshness but you used to be a little more subtle about it.“

„You know, I've always been like this", Akaashi shot back: „but as a second-year, I thought you were terrifying.“

Bokuto continued messing with his hair, seemingly frustrated by his comments: „Man, you've grown so much! I don't even feel like a senpai anymore!“

Akaashi laid a hand on his shoulder, patting it lightly. He enjoyed the exchange but couldn't just leave it at that, involuntarily touching him instead the first chance he got like a dumbass: „You weren't really good at that anyway if we're being honest…“

The other swatted away his hand and puffed out his cheeks in typical childish manner: „Why thank you, but you don't have to be.", then his expression suddenly changed, his eyes reduced to slits, a teasing spark in them: „I liked shy Akaashi, but sassy Akaashi is really something else.“

Akaashi clutched the broom that was still in his hands a little tighter. He couldn't do anything but stare up to the other's smug face, feeling the heat rise in his own. Sassy Akaashi my ass, he thought to himself, trying to come up with a witty response, but his head was just empty for once. 

Luckily he was saved by the coach shouting: „Wrap it up already, and Bokuto stop annoying our new club member!"

Bokuto backed up a bit, but not before flicking his finger at Akaashi's nose, lightly chuckling: „I'm just messing witcha. Good to know there's still a bit of the old you left.“

And then he was out the door, leaving Akaashi with his head spinning like so many times before.


	4. shower thoughts

Bokutos POV

Bokuto wanted to ram his head into the tiles of his shower stall, just to punish himself for what an idiot he was. He had gone to the communal shower-rooms two hours after the training had ended so he could have it all to himself and would not accidentally run into a certain dark-haired hottie. He turned the water temperature down a bit, letting it trickle across his back in the hopes that it would cool him and his mind down too, but it didn't help one bit.

Why did he have to approach Akaashi like that when he saw him again? A normal greeting would have been enough, but no, with him there was either everything or nothing at all, as always. Akaashi hadn't really reacted comfortably, which he couldn't blame the other for, and even though he regretted it a lot, the feeling of hugging him after such a long time had been good. Akaashi was still shorter and slimmer than him, his snippy face still youthful as before. To him, they felt like a perfect match, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake off his wishful thinking, which made it even more painful to see him again. With regard to their last interaction, which consisted of a brief kiss behind the Fukurodani gym, it had been even more stupid to just greet him friendly as if nothing had happened. It felt as if this unspoken thing between them had grown even bigger. Since Akaashi had never texted him, he had assumed that he wanted nothing more to do with him, but earlier Bokuto had forced him to be nice to him and pretend that nothing had ever happened in front of the others.

During practice, Akaashi had ignored him and instead talked to that idiot Terushima, which had bothered him more than he would ever admit. Still, it was probably for the better, because when he had approached the other man after practice, not being able to withstand the desire to talk to him, it had completely messed with him. He was aware that it was a stupid idea to approach him and just talk to him, knowing full well that he would accidentally start flirting or something, Finding out that Akaashi was still way easy to fluster was not helping his crush to go away, and just thinking about his cute expression when Bokuto had softly snipped his finger against the other's nose sent an unmistakable tingling to his lower regions. 

Seriously, that's all it takes? He thought to himself in annoyance, taking the showerhead out of the bracket and holding it onto his precious manhood with ice-cold water on full blast. This definitely wasn't the first time he thought about Akaashi in ways he wasn't supposed to, but he never allowed himself to let his hands or his mind wander. Nobody could see him but still, he was ashamed, always waiting for it to go down or taking more drastic measures like right now. 

He turned the water down when he felt like his junk was about to fall off, although he was well aware that his half-erection still hadn't fully gone down yet. His desires had lessened for a while, but now that he had seen the other in person, all grown up but somehow still the same person Bokuto had fallen in love with, his testosterone had basically punched him in the gut. 

Still, Akaashi didn't see him like that, and although Bokuto had pulled him in a kiss years ago without asking for consent he seemed to be okay with becoming friends again and even if that wasn't enough for Bokuto, he would have to accept it. Just the fact that the other was there again had to be enough, not that it wasn't great just to look at him. His heart almost jumped out of his chest and fell out through his mouth when he had burst into the gymnasium and recognized the other as he slowly turned around. His slightly wavy, dark hair was basically still the same but his face seemed more expressive than before, his dark eyes glistening in different types of ways. His favorite had been the look Akaashi gave him right before he'd stormed out of the gym, not being able to handle it, replaying in his mind once again in a matter of minutes. It were faces like this that made Bokuto believe the setter thought of him as more than a friend, but he didn't and that was evident in every other situation, like when he'd ignored him for the whole practice although they'd just met again after not hearing from one another for three whole years.

Bokuto wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped into the deserted changing room, massaging his sore shoulder. He had tried really hard to show off his improved spikes today, and although it went horribly wrong in the beginning, his birdbrain completely shutting off as always, this time Akaashi was there to back him up, successfully avoiding him getting nasty eyes and being grouched at as always. He thought that it would shed a negative light on the setter as well, not scolding his teammate for being clearly at fault, but Ichigo-Sensei seemed to be pleased with the way things had played out. Maybe partly also because the geezer liked seeing Bokuto suffer, being completely ignored by everybody else on the team. Bokuto knew that the coach was still mad at him for making their manager leave because of his insensitivity. He sighed, thinking about her for the first time in about a month, contemplating if he should just show up at her door uninvited like he used to and forget Akaashi for a while, but he knew better than to treat a woman like that. Again.

He'd have to get through this on his own because nobody else should have to worry about his dumb feelings for a man he didn't deserve. Bokuto didn't know where this was going to go, the only thing he could do was pray that they could start over and be on good terms again because losing his best friend had been more than tough on him for the last years.

Soon after trudging back to his dorm and flopping down onto his bed face first, his phone buzzed to life. He turned onto his back reluctantly and held the bright screen to his face, his eyes widening slightly upon reading the new messages in their Team-Groupchat: 

Teruuu: yooo guys Akaashi's in the house :0

030-1899-5996: hello :)

Teruuu: I figured we should go have a gathering at that local bar this WE to celebrate our new member, Daichi's treat?

Captain: You always have an excuse to drink don't you?

Captain: Go to work 'm not made of money 

Teruuu: so you're all in?

Bokuto shook his head with a snort, quickly typing in a response, agreeing with Terushima of course. The thought of drinking with his closest friends should cheer him up as always, but for some reason, it didn't. He reread Akaashi's meaningless text for approximately a dozen times before saving his number in his contacts and turning to the side while chewing down his thumbnail. Just a mention of drinking with Akaashi dug up some unpleasant memories. And that wasn't his only concern: He didn't want to think about it too hard, feeling that the idea was too dumb to even enter his mind properly, but one question just kept spinning in his head from the second he opened the messages: Why did Teru already have Akaashi's number?   
He tried to convince himself that the two of them had met before somewhere on campus, but the more he thought about it the more he noticed how little he actually knew about Akaashi anymore. They had barely talked at all today and he still was all fired up as if they'd just been on a date, going as far as being relieved that Akaashi changed his number. His brain held onto the thought that it might have been a reason Akaashi never texted him, but deep inside he knew that wasn't the case. He groaned in dissatisfaction at his own idiocy, slapping his hands onto his face before crawling under the sheets in the hopes that sleep could bring his thoughts into somewhat of an order again.

But he couldn't remember a time where his thoughts about Akaashi were ever in an order to begin with.


	5. Chapter 5: gatherings (part one)

Akaashi's POV

Although Akaashi wasn't really fond of drinking in the presence of Bokuto ever again after the fateful farewell-party, he found himself seated in a jam-packed bar between Terushima and the Libero, whose name turned out to be Sakunami Kōsuke, as soon as the next Saturday rolled around. 

The reason he didn't want this party to happen was sitting right across him, eyeing the meat left over on the small plate Tsukishima next to him ordered with a watering mouth: „hey Tsukki would you mind..."

„Knock yourself out, you glutton.", Tsukishima replied in his monotone voice before Bokuto even finished, sliding the plate in his direction. The latter started shoving multiple slices in his mouth at once, blatantly ignoring the cabbage salad that was meant to be eaten with it. So meat is still his favorite, Akaashi thought to himself, returning his gaze to the half-empty second beer in front of him in an attempt to not stare too obviously. 

„Don't call me a glutton!", Bokuto replied, mouth still full: „'s not my fault I'm not as picky as you. Honestly, the skeleton look is not popular with the girls."

„I think you shouldn't talk like that when he's the one in a relationship.", Terushima quipped up beside Akaashi, clearly drunk already judging by the sound of his slurred voice.

Bokuto crossed his arms in front of his broad chest, a snooty look on his face: „I can have whoever I want, I'm charming like that."

„Is that why our manager left you?", Tsukishima snapped before dodging a slap to the shoulder from the other, consequently spilling his drink on the table and his lap and gathering everyones attention. The whole team started laughing at their playful exchange, except for Akaashi, who took a large swing of his drink, the alcohol numbing his brain a little. He knew he couldn't just flat out ask who the manager was, that would be inappropriate, but apparently his reaction was not inconspicuous enough as Sakunami jabbed him in the ribs playfully: „You look surprised, man."

Akaashi wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his jumper before answering evasively: „Didn't know Bokuto could pull anybody. And that our team had a manager."

Everybody roared out a laugh again except for Bokuto, who started refilling his shot glass with Sake: „let' s not talk about this.", he pleaded after downing it quickly: „'m not in the mood for that shit right now."

„You' re the one who started it.", Tsukishima huffed back, still trying to rub the spilled liquor off his Trousers with a napkin: „Yukie Shirofuku used to be our manager. You remember her, right?"

It took Akaashi every bit of self control to evade frowning. This seriously couldn't be happening: „Yeah, she was our manager in high school too, can't believe she stuck with it.", he replied, trying his best to sound like he actually wanted to have this conversation. Nobody needed to know that he'd rather have his balls twisted right now: „Especially when she had to put up with this idiot."

Everybody looked at a very dissatisfied Bokuto, who had pulled his knees up to his chest and was staring off into nothing: „She didn't even stand on the court with me, unlike you, what's so bad about me out of playing volleyball?", he grunted back.

Akaashi didn't know if the Alcohol was getting to him or if he was just relieved to have a group of friends to laugh with again, but he just felt so light. And he was really in a mood to mess with the owl guy, who deserved it because he didn't tell Akaashi that he dated her. Because he never called. Akaashi leaned over the table, facing the group that was watching him intently: „he'd ask her for money because he knew I wouldn't give him any and never payed it back."

„I thought you were a ladies man, Bokuto", Terushima howled, jabbing his thumb in Tsukishima's direction: „a guy who asks his girlfriend for money is even worse than skeleton boy over here."

Bokuto poured himself another glass, clearly annoyed and still avoiding everybody's gaze: „Just shut up, will ya?!"

But nobody seemed in the mood to stop, not in the slightest. Even Tsukishima, whose only form of communication usually seemed to be making snarky remarks was genuinely smiling, probably because he'd also consumed way too much alcohol for his skinny body: „Anyways, she was our manager, and it was so obvious that she was hittin' on him. It really hurt how dense he was being.", Akaashi leaned back in his seat, drinking some more. As much as he hated hearing about Yukie being with Bokuto, he wanted to know everything about it as well. And the chances that Tsukishima would ever be in the mood to talk about this again were probably very small, so he listened quietly as the blond continued: „But after some time, they finally started going out, seemed like a happy couple. Her personality really matched his, and when he was being dumb she was right there to compensate for it."

Akaashi took another large sip, not knowing how to suppress his face from showing true emotions otherwise . That could be him, the person being next to Bokuto. It could be him if only Bokuto saw him instead of going after girls. What was so interesting about girls anyways?: „And then what happened?", he asked hurriedly. 

„We broke up because she got on my nerves.", everybody at the table had kind of forgotten that the person they were talking about was literally right there. His voice was cold, gaze trained on Akaashi only, as if the others didn't matter: „And then she left her position as a manager, because we couldn't stand to be around each other."

„Yeah, dating someone from the same Club really sucks.", Sakunami quipped up, trying to ease the sudden tension between them: „But the chances of that happening are really low, so that saves us a lot of drama."

Akaashi nodded quietly, unable to answer. Of course he knew that Bokuto wouldn't go out with him in a thousand years so the others really needn't worry about something like that happening again, but the way his teammates despised the Idea of two people on the same team dating made him even more scared of his feelings.

„That won't happen anymore, don't worry.", Bokuto grunted, twirling his shot glass on the table, still looking at Akaashi: „I really don't like her anymore, she was acting like everything was about her."

It was silent for a brief moment, before Terushima, in even worse of a state than before, leaned over the table looking back and forth between Akaashi and Bokuto, a hiccup escaping his lips before he spoke up: „So I've been askin' myself this thing from the moment I saw y' alls together: D'yall used to date or somethin'?"

And with that, the whole group went dead silent. Even Daichi and Aone, the tall middle Blocker Akaashi had played with in his first match stopped having their private conversation and turned around. Akaashi could do absolutely nothing but stare into his empty Glass, watching the small rest of his drink trickle down the side while his face started burning up way too hard.   
Even Bokuto, who couldn't stop talking about himself normally, was quiet for once, but it was right now that he needed to say something because Akaashi couldn't come up with anything other than running away, and that would look really bad. 

„because....", Terushima slurred on, not being able to read the awkward situation in his drunken state: „You two keep looking at each other a way, y'know? And right now, I'm even more convinced that my tingling co-captain senses were right."

A snort could be heard from across the table, and when Akaashi looked down at Bokuto, the latter had bent forward, both hands covering his mouth to avoid laughing out loud and disturbing the people in the booths around them: "A couple, Akaashi and me? He's more like a mother to me, always looking after me and holding me back from stupid things", he sighed running his hands through his two-toned hair: "We lost sight of each other after high school, so I was so surprised to see him again, thats probably where the weird tension's coming from."

Akaashi's gaze finally wandered up and when their eyes met, Bokuto looked at him with a mischievous grin for a brief second before leaning back in his seat and glancing around: "Enough talking about feelings you sappy shits, time to see how many more glasses it will take before Terushima tips over, hey hey heeeey!"

And that was the end of the conversation. Akaashi was stunned in the way Bokuto could just change the subject to ease the situation, but then again that shouldn't be a big deal for him if he didn't have any feelings for Akaashi. He put on a smiling face and raised the now refilled glass in front of him to his lips, hoping the liquor would help him swallow down the weird lump forming in his throat. He'd have to learn to control himself for Bokutos sake, because he was the one making things seem a way they weren't.

He was making things seem the way he wished they were.


	6. Gatherings (part 2)

Akaashi's POV

„Did you really have to make him pass out?", Akaashi grumbled, readjusting Terushima's arm on his shoulder. The poor guy was blackout drunk, unable to open his eyes, let alone pick up his feet to walk the short distance back to the campus. 

„Sorry, didn't know he was your roommate.", Bokuto sighed back. He was holding Terushima's other arm, dragging the majority of the drunken man's weight over the rubble path lining the entrance to their dorm complex: „so that's how he got your number first."

„Huh?", Akaashi looked up, not sure what the other meant by that: „What, you jealous?"

„As if, you idiot.", Bokuto grunted while pressing the button to the elevator: „I was just wondering, that's all."

Akaashi didn't know what to do with that piece of information, so he just silently glanced around the corridor before he could interpret it in a way it wasn't intended. He wasn't fully sober himself yet, so anything he did right now could get dangerous.

„It's just that", Bokuto spoke up after a while: „I actually missed you."  
The little ding signaling that the elevator had arrived thankfully covered Akaashi's surprised gasp, and he had a little bit of time thinking up an answer, concentrating on getting the passed out man onto the elevator instead. Why would he say something like that all of a sudden, making Akaashi all fussed up ?

„Missed you too, I guess.", he answered, wanting to slap himself for it right away. He was making it sound overly nonchalant, and although he didn't want Bokuto to know what he actually felt, he didn't want the other to think he hated him either. He peeked down at Terushima, who thankfully was still asleep before continuing: „But not in a way Teru thought I did.", he chuckled, earning a little laugh from the other in response.

„He can be an idiot sometimes.", Bokuto muttered, before laughing once again: „like I'm one to talk. But yeah, I was really surprised seeing you again after you moved and stuff."  
„same here, I actually thought you wanted to become a pro.", Akaashi picked up the subject once again, not having gotten an answer the first time he'd jokingly mentioned it.

„I have parents with expectations too, y'know?", the other shot back with a smirk, taking Terushima off Akaashi and dragging him out the elevator on his own, so that they were now facing each other.

„You don't have to carry his drunk ass alone", Akaashi sighed, grabbing Teru's legs so that they could carry him properly now that nobody could see them and suspect they were carrying a dead body or something: „And since when do you care about what your parents think? I clearly remember you failing almost everything and not giving a damn about what they told you."  
„Don' t rub it in my face will ya?", the other moped, before his expression turned unreadable: „But yeah, you're right, it's not the only reason I didn't go pro."

And then it was quiet again. Akaashi waited for him to continue, but nothing was added, making him chuckle. Bokutos head was totally in the clouds again, rambling abut anything that came to his mind, out of the blue. That's how he always was, saying things without any given context: „ Welcome to our dorm, the bed on the left is his.", he pulled his keycard out and unlocked the door, signaling the other to come inside: „Care to elaborate what yo just said?"

Bokuto huffed, dragging Terushima to his messy bed and dumping him without much care: „maybe another time.", he pointed to the large bean bag next to the window: „Can I sit down, I'm kinda out of breath?"

„Sure thing, I'll get you a water from the fridge.", Akaashi said before storming off to the kitchen, trying to calm himself. He 's just sitting in your living room like a bro. We will sit there together like bros. Thats it. He said to himself while pulling out a bottle from the fridge, holding it to his rapidly heating forehead for a couple of seconds before going back: „Then lets talk about something else...what are you majoring in?" He flopped down on his bed across from the place where Bokuto was now gulping down his whole drink in one go, unable to sit any closer without being nervous. They hadn't talked one on one since their reunion, and now that he couldn't hide behind a teammate Akaashi had suddenly forgotten how to have a normal conversation. That's probably how Bokuto felt on the court sometimes.

„I'm studying sports medicine. If I can't be a professional player I will guide them. I liked being Hinata's mentor after all!", Bokuto answered, fiddling with the etiquette of the bottle that looked oddly small in his large Hands: „what about you? Bet its something terrible like mathematics..."

Akaashi shook his head, smiling: „Math is not that terrible if you study, but not even close. I'm doing journalism."

Bokuto straightened up, a surprised look on his face: „How come?"

„I guess there's a lot to tell.", Akaashi mumbled, rubbing his forehead bashfully: „It 'really has been a long time since we last talked."

„I've got time", the other shrugged: „I'm working at a convenience store two bus stops away, its closed on Sundays, so I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow anyways."

Akaashi leaned back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling: „I went to the USA for a year after finishing high school. I went to school for another year there, and friend forced me into the newspaper-club.", he chuckled, remembering easier times: „But I'm glad she did because it kind of sparked my interest."

„And so you stuck with it, that's pretty cool...", Bokuto mumbled, having laid down as well, mimicking his staring at the ceiling: „You really wanna know why I didn't become a professional volleyball-player?"

Akaashi turned his head to him, waving his hands appeasingly:„You don't have to tell me if you don't want..."

„It's because of you.", Bokuto returned his gaze, and he was not able to pull away from those beautiful eyes. Even now that it was dark in the apartment, the only light coming from the city, shining through the large windows leading to the balcony, they were sparkling in a beautiful golden hue Akaashi 'd never seen anywhere else.

The other male turned back to look up before continuing: „When you left, I noticed that it wasn't me learning to do good straight spikes that made me love volleyball, like I told Tsukishima once."

Akaashi held his breath, unable able to answer. He was just staring like an idiot, waiting for the other to continue, not believing what he was hearing.

„I like playing with you the most, Akaashi.", the other laughed nervously: „So its good to have you back, otherwise I don't know how long I would have continued."  
Akaashi could hear his heart beating in his ears, turning to the side so that he was facing the wall. Bokuto was dense as a brick but if he saw his beet red face even he'd be able to count two together. He's just saying that because he likes to play volleyball with you as a friend. A bro, that's it: „You are... a fucking dumbass."

„I know that, but its true.", Bokuto sighed before hastily getting up from his seat all of a sudden: „I probably should be going now, don't wanna bother you for too long, haha."

He was already out of the door with one foot when Akaashi managed to get up and grab him by the edge of his jean jacket. He didn't know what had gotten into him, but when the other slowly turned around on his heel, looking at him in question, he just mumbled: „I like playing with you the most too.", a couple of seconds passed before he let go and took a step back, signaling to the other that he was free to go: „But just so you know, you're still annoying as hell."

Bokutos face lit up, and he cracked that idiotic smile that could make anyone drop dead: „Good to know.", he said quietly, ignoring the last part of what Akaashi had said: „Lets not split up like we did before ever again."

Akaashi looked down at the others Pinky being stuck out to him, wrapping his own around it without much thought: „sure thing."

Bokuto held his finger tighter, until it hurt a little: „You gotta promise."

„I promise.", Akaashi whispered with a staged eyeroll, not able to produce a sound, let alone a full sentence: „Your turn now."

Bokuto didn't answer right away, taking his free hand and ruffling it through Akaashi's dark curls instead:„What if I don't? You'd look pretty dumb... oof..."

Upon finishing his sentence Akaashi reminded him that he also had a second hand, punching him in the gut: „Don't ruin the moment, you ass."

„Okay sorry", the other choked out in pain, standing up straight after recovering: „So violent.... I promise to you too, duh. And now I can kiss the bride, c'mere baby."

Akaashi quickly shoved him away with a yelp as his face inched dangerously close: „I didn't agree to marry you, pervert."

Bokuto was doubled over in laughter, taking a couple steps back to avoid more attacks from the other: „I was just kidding, don't hit me again, I'm sensitive."

Akaashi slammed his hand in his fist, keeping his disinterested face: „Well then you should probably leave, before I whoop your ass and cut off your finger to break that promise."

„Akaashi, so cruel!", the other whined, not caring that his loud voice could wake up the people next door: „How can you say that with such a straight face?! Forgive me please... Akaashi-sama?"

Akaashi couldn't help but laugh at that exclamation of submissiveness, taking a step back into his flat: „Just get out of here before someone calls the police on us for nuisance."

Bokuto contained his laughter upon realizing how loud he was, slowly starting to head back to the elevator before turning around one last time: „I noticed that you smile more than before, really suits you. Good night!"

Akaashi couldn't help but smile at the remark, the feeling that Bokuto noticed something about him making the butterflies in his stomach go on a rampage: „Night."  
He watched Bokuto's retreating back until he entered the elevator before closing the apartment door and leaning against it with a deep sigh.  
The giddy feeling in his chest slowly subsided, and as he sobered up the dull pain he was feeling whenever thinking about Bokuto came back with full force. He could hear soft snores from Terushima's Bed, eliminating the only thing that held him back from crying.  
And so he did.  
He slid down the door and cried until he was a shivering mess, unable to produce any more tears. Everything he did to Bokuto today crossed his mind again, making him even more disgusted of himself. He had sat at the bar, not only drunk on beer but on venomous jealousy, eating him up from inside. And his drunken brain only wanted to hear how it went bad between Bokuto and Yukie to soothe his own ugly heart. Bokuto telling him that he couldn't stand to be around her anymore filled him with joy, and as much as he agonized it, as much as he didn't want to feel this way he just couldn't change it. He had convinced himself that he didn't love Bokuto anymore, but his crush came back the second he set eyes on the other. Or rather that it never fully left, he just pushed the thought of him liking the other to the back of his head, distracting himself with other things instead, thinking it would actually make the feelings go away. 

And now look at him: He sat here, welling in self pity, ugly tears running down his face when he was the one who deserved all the worst things for thinking the way he did.  
The one thing he wasn't deserving of was Bokutos attention, but he was too egoistic to let go once again. He knew it would probably end in a disaster, since the other had clearly expressed that he only saw Akaashi as a motherly friend a couple of hours ago, but he wouldn't let go of the other man, ever.


End file.
